Or g anize d Cha os
“Welcome
to Houston County High School’s 2012 Commencement Ceremony.”
~~~~
Graduating high school
should be one of the best days of your life, right? Should be.
Sadly, this isn’t the
case for everyone. If you’re me and feel the need to please everyone even
though this is your day, then you’re in for a lot of surprises when the week
before graduation turns into a disaster.
It’s a happy day even if
some people don’t share in the same feeling. As chaotic as it all is, it’s one
for the books.
The question is: How do I
plan on writing it?
~~~~~
“Jazmyn and Jaron, go
ahead and start getting your thank you cards ready”, my mom calls out to my
twin brother and me.
Graduating is fun and
all, but my wrist is going to fall off, or at least develop carpal tunnel, if I
have to prepare one more thank-you card. I guess it balances out when my family
is giving me money for “no reason” according to my aunt Rhonda. She’s a little
sour that someone other than her is receiving money from my nana, but I’ve
already told her to get over it. My mom already has enough to worry about it
when it comes to not only sending one child to college but two…and at the same
time nonetheless. She doesn’t need her sister adding in extra drama this close
to our big day.
~~~~~~
My mom. The strongest person
that I know but also doesn’t allow anyone to see that. With three children and
one on the way, she has a lot on her plate. On top of that, she’s doing it all
by herself. So, she really doesn’t need anyone stressing her out during this
already usually stressful time. At least there’s one happy thing to remember.
Well, happy in my opinion.
Graduation day just so
happens to be the same day as my mom’s 40th birthday (though she doesn’t think this is half as
cool as I do) and with her being 8
and a half months pregnant, I hope it’ll also be the birthday of my new baby
brother. Oddly, having to stop the graduation ceremony because her water breaks
just doesn’t scream ‘exciting’ to her like it does to me.
In her mind, we don’t
need the extra drama. So, why did she have a huge fight with my nana (her mom)
a couple of days causing both Rhonda and Nana (who thought she was too young to be called ‘grandma’ when we were
born) to project their anger onto me? My family has always been super dramatic
(the many fights that break out after a game of Taboo is proof of that), but shouldn’t they be able to put all of
that aside for today? Is that too much to ask?
~~~~~~
It’s time.
It’s finally time to
graduate. I’m going to ignore the fact that Rhonda never showed up, that my
estranged father’s parents are sitting awkwardly in the corner, knowing how
much I despise my father who can’t even remember how old I am. They are the
definition of uncomfortable. It contrasts really nicely with the rest of my
large family (we could start a small village),
who are all gathered in my house, screaming, laughing, and trying to figure out
what time they should begin to head to the place where graduation will be held.
It’s not my job to tell
them when they start getting ready, and it’s not my job to mediate the fight
that Rhonda and Nana are starting. My only job should be to count how much
money I’m going to get and to enjoy the last hurrah that I have with my
classmates. My focus should be on what shoes won’t make me trip as I cross the
stage to get my diploma. But, no. It’s on the fact that it’s geographically
impossible for Rhonda to come now because she lives too far away. Nana showed
up, spouting out nonsense that even though I’ve put her ‘through so much’, she
would never miss my graduation. Nice gesture, even better guilt trip. Feels
nice.
My godmother consoles me
and tell me that all of this mess isn’t my fault. That’s pretty obvious, but it
doesn’t help the fact that I’m feeling crappy on one of the supposed happiest
days of my life. Papa, with his nonchalant-about-everything attitude, also
tells me to forget what’s happening and focus on the fact that I’m graduating.
He might be a little intoxicated (appropriate considering it’s his ex-wife and
daughter causing all of the stir), but I’d say it’s some very good advice.
“Jazmyn and Jaron, let’s
go! You have to be there earlier than everyone else!”
~~~~~~
Forget the drama. Forget
the missing family member, the unwanted family member, and the one that doesn’t
really want to be there. Forget all of that.
Stop letting other people
take over my day. Stop letting them make them it all about them. Take some
control. When I have to think about this day in 3 years, what am I going to
want to remember? The shed tears and the overbearing feeling of the weight of
my family? The feeling of needing everyone to be happy even though that may not
include myself?
No.
I’m going to want to
remember the laughs with some of the best people I’ve ever met. I’m going to
want to remember the jokes made during the ceremony. Surprisingly, I’m even
going to want to remember watching my brother dance when walking up to receive
his diploma (something the principal did not care for).
It’s my day, and it’s
about time I started enjoying it.
~~~~~
“Please
put your hands together for the Class of 2012! We did it!”
Yes.
Yes, we did.
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